Book-Worms & Schools of Fish

Hanging out with Marina’s family is pretty interesting. The majority of my life has been spent with people that prize intellect & education, but the Pierce’s seem to care about different things. (Which, by the way, is totally great. It’s always nice to be exposed to new ways of looking at the world.)

For the most part, my own family is super-duper elitist. It’s as if the royalty in our blood has tainted our view of the average human. Cerebral snobbery is no exception. Within Marina’s family, there is no expectation of scholastic attainment whatsoever. It seems that if you manage a 2-year degree at a junior college, you’ll be considered a smarty-pants. However, a Mattox or a Carlson without a 4-year degree is considered an oaf or a slacker. Never in my life did my sister or I consider stopping study before a post-graduate education. If you had asked us about it, we probably would have confided that certain conditions would need to apply first (ie. blue moons, aerial pigs and we, Mattoxs, being seen in hell).

Now, it’s not that I consider intellectual aspirations to be a bad thing (Although “knowing” stuff can definitely hamper one’s ability to experience reality). Only considering the pursuit to be “higher,” classier, or somehow better than another calling seems screwed-up. Personally, I feel as though my brain is over-full. Book-learning needs to be balanced with actual experience & psycho-spiritual development.

The high school nurse & I got to know each other pretty well. I essentially spent more time with her than in my homeroom class. Yeah, I used illness as a way out of anything that I didn’t enjoy. Oh, and I really didn’t enjoy school. At all. Sure, band was pleasant, but I simply hadn’t come to a place in my life where learning seemed fun. These days, as an instructor, I find that it’s essential to teach only to students who are ready to learn. Every other pupil simply wants to be entertained …which is cool too. (Any attempts to instruct them usually will result in empty gazes of good-natured constipation.) Actually, it wasn’t until I started investigating medicine & taiji quan that I took a real interest in my studies. Before that, I treated school as a hobby and engaged in a great deal of “bulimic” learning.

After floating halfway through my foggy high school experience, I somehow stumbled into the decision to test out of school early. I’ve gotta say that this was one of the best choices that I could have made. (It’s funny, looking back now at my life, it’s surprising that I chose to make such a radical decision. I don’t recall doing anything requiring half so much initiative. Passion & spontaneity weren’t well-developed aspects of my personality at that time. I was just too damn tired for that sort of crap.) Not only did the CHESPE certificate add a sort of impressive distinction to my otherwise unimpressive & indistinct schooling transcript, but the decision set me free to explore the world around me, at my own pace. This freedom allowed me to ditch the “school for the sake of school” mentality, and to discover the joy of learning. Even now, outside the formal schooling system, I carry a few books in my ever-present backpack. At this moment, I’m carrying texts about the study of mandarin, traditional Chinese medicine, Daoist philosophy, the history of the internal combustion engine, and American history (“A People’s History of the United States” by Howard Zinn… an eye-opening book! It certainly shows what our ancestors would be thinking if they were alive today. [People have often speculated about this. Would they approve of modern society, they ask, would they marvel at present-day achievements? And of course this misses a fundamental point. What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”]).

This educational exploration extended for years, spanned 9 schools, and covered a tremendous variety of subjects. Now, not only can I bore people at parties with almost any topic, but I kick-ass at “Trivia”. Ahhh, the benefits of a liberal learning-curve. Funnily enough, a Master’s degree was the first official degree that I had ever applied for. I simply never had a reason to apply for a similar piece of paper before. When I approached the medical post-graduate program without the appropriate certifications, happily they told me that my transcripts were impressive enough to get me into the school. I’ve always been pretty lucky that way.

Halfway through my study at acupuncture school, I decided to take a short trip & head to Australia. (It’s quite essential to take breaks from time to time.) I’d developed a love for New Zealand beforehand, and thought it’d be fun to explore the neighborhood. The time spent there & hiking across Tasmania altered my life dramatically; but that’s a subject for a different time. …It’s wonderful, isn’t it? How way leads to way? Knowledge is transformative, and each transformation places us on a different path. Each path leads to new discovery, further experience, some discarding, and more knowledge. And so it goes. Truly, it’s one of the reasons that it has taken me so long to write this “blog to my blood.” Life keeps changing. How can I tell them where I am at if circumstances are constantly in flux?

My trade school studies have ranged everywhere from personal fitness training to long-haul trucking. Speaking of which, I have to say that trucking is a wonderful gig for a meditator. With an appropriate mind-set, the vehicle becomes a moving monastery. Pure, quiet awareness meditation; for 11 hours per day. Heck, it should be required for every student of Zen methodology. With a partner & a consistent schedule, you’ll pull in more than 100-grand a year. More importantly, you’ll establish that all-important foundation of a still & peaceful mind. Now, you ask, why in the heck would a doctor become a trucker? Well, after spending time in a clinic, I decided that I didn’t feel comfortable making money off of someone’s misery. It makes me feel like a vulture or an extortionist. Daily, I do treat people for free; but I’ll never get rich from my skills as a healer. I’m very happy about that.

Currently, the vast majority of my studies are of the Daoist arts of internal transformation. QiGong, Taiji Quan, meditation, etc. They carry far more depth and interest to me than any other subjects that I’ve come across. Initially, my work on these methods was for my own health-benefit; but now that I’m completely healed I’ve discovered the more subtle & interesting layers of the arts. Also, I’m actively learning to teach. The poetry of good instruction has become fascinating. I’ll blog about that stuff later. :o)

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?