Writing to Amaris reminded me that there are some pretty substantial differences in our basic systems of belief. We’d only be able to speak about the most superficial subjects, sidetracking around superlatives such as spirituality, science, and symbolism. Other “S-Words” too!
She mentioned, with pride, that her pastor’s name is Rick Warran. Oh yes, I know of him. His name is synonymous with “Pat Robertson” and “Bigot.” He’s one of those cats that has given a bad name to the purely open and loving message of teachers like Jesus of Nazareth. One author called him, “ The televised, Bible-bashing entrepreneur that is perhaps the single most unattractive and embarrassing phenomenon modern American culture has ever produced.” Now, I wouldn’t go quite so far; but I do consider him a symptom of much that is troubling within American culture. The “we are right and will fix you whether you like it or not” mentality. Here’s another issue that is more rightly directed to Amaris directly:
You know, I was truly overjoyed to hear that you were “too nice for the business world.” What a wonderful compliment!! However, Lian and I were shocked to hear that you gave it all up. Very surprising, really. Now, I have this question for you: did you give it up because of the Christian doctrine that all women should submit to their husbands? “Promise Keepers” madness? I know that I’ve heard Paster Warran speak to this submission doctrine before. If so, then I am doubly shocked and saddened at this abasement. There’s nothing wrong with being a full-time mom, don’t get me wrong; but I do take issue with strong women playing weak for the sake of a cultural throwback.
This being said (and it did have to be said), though maintaining traditional positions on issues such as abortion and gay marriage, Warran has called on the church to focus its efforts on causes not traditionally associated with evangelicals. For example, he has done much for fighting international poverty and disease, expanding educational opportunities for the marginalized, and caring for the environment. There is often much possibility within the Christian community for positive action, and it’s nice that he is tapping this resource. I also have treated more than one person who has benefitted from his books, and for this he deserves many thanks. I’d shake his hand in person, if I could.
So, perhaps it’s best that my family keep ME at arm’s length? Statements like “religion has done more to damage the world than any other force in history” might be a cause of disruption at Thanksgiving dinner. Before moving to Arizona, even while maintaining silence at family gatherings, I was already being attacked by relatives for some of my views and choices. There is a lot of “Rick Warran’s attitude” in most of my family, and so they feel justified (righteous?) in commenting upon the lives of others. This makes it difficult for any flexibility (read: Harmony) to exist in the undercurrents. For example, I know for a fact that there is at least one homosexual in our family that is/was terrified about “coming out.” They confided in me because I don’t have the same prejudices as the majority of my relatives. Another member actually hears voices, but has never “come out” of that particular closet to receive aid. My own personal view of thankfully soon to be ex-president Bush II would also probably upset many family members. I believe he (or whoever owns him) is an eco-terrorist and war-criminal. Again, I’m not trying to be contentious or rude, but this is why I’m quarantining this discussion to a Blog. I have a memory of my father exploring the infinite possibilities within spirituality. He began to become ostracized and looked-down upon within the family. His own brother said something like “You are now my enemy.” I mean, C’mon! Seriously!? Am I the only one that has his sense of betrayal and heartbreak burned into my memory?
I could go on, but I think that ya’ll get my point. Right? Hmmm, let’s move back to a lighter subject. :o)
Conversation within a family setting is tough within a gathering of hard-core Christians. Even the names chosen by my Sister and her Hubby are biblical. Caleb is a biblical name right? Who? Ummm, friend of Joshua and Moses? And you can totally hear the Hebrew origin of Mikayla. Kind of cool to add that Hebrew throat-sound on the “K” (ch)! So, to balance this, I used the Urban Dictionary to look up the “street-meaning” of their names:
Mikayla:
Amazing, best girl you could meet
beautiful, smart, caring, definition of someone everyone loves.
never a whore,nor slut
mikayla is more than likely an amazing girl
gets what she wants
never gives up
a great person overall
Jenn- “wow, your so smart and pretty”
Cassie- “I know, I'm pulling a Mikayla”
Caleb:
to have a sexy body. to have strong biceps, and ripped abs, and a nice ass
“look at that caleb lifting 500 lbs!!”
“thats guy is a total caleb!”
“Man, that caleb is a total hottie!“
Much more fun, and all-inclusive. Don’t you agree?
I personally think that God can be found anywhere and everywhere we look, and so sign-posts trying to point in God’s direction sorta become silly and, well... point-less.
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"The Kingdom of Heaven is Within You" - The Naz
5 comments:
I do love your honesty and always enjoy a good tirade. It is wonderful to see that your writing and communication skills are exemplary. I do love the way you write.
However ... me thinks you do paint "us all" with a rather broad brush. I certainly understand it and in many ways agree with you. I have found that people are constrained by culture, intellect, exposure, spiritual experiences and their own personal dramas. The only way I've been able to weigh an individual is by the way they treat people. Not the way they talk, not by what they believe, but by what they do. That reflects the fruit of who they really are. As within so without. Beliefs and philosophy will change and fluctuate throughout their walk. Everyone needs time to sort things out and it is a process we need to permit and forgive.
Although I'm a minister, I'm still not a religious guy. I have a relationship with God which produces fruit in me that I like. There it is. I know you know me well enough to understand when I say that I've really learned to love people ... everyone ... and with compassion. I value that as real fruit off the tree. I don't judge anyone and value everyone. That is also fruit of my life. I have wonderful friends that believe just like you do. We value each other and each others thoughts and beliefs. It doesn't change what I've discovered in my walk and or how I'm going to walk it.
When you first contacted us via the "Blog" ... we celebrated. My friends and family celebrated. People hugged me and slapped me on the back. They knew how much I missed you. We just wanted to know that you were safe, well fed and happy. We do not judge you on your philosopy or religion. You are my son and it doesn't matter. Just hearing from you made the whole year for mom and I. Thank you for that. You won't understand until you are a parent. We have told Johnny stories, bragged quite a bit, missed your laugh, missed your intensity, missed just about everything about you. There have been so many times I wanted to ask your opinion on so many things but ...
I've had some heath issues and find myself going holistic in my lifestyle. I have soooooo many questions.
Please allow us to just be as we are as we will allow you to be you. You are highly valued and missed You are my son and I love you.
I was recently reminded by how different siblings can be (no, not by your recent appearance). When Mikayla was born, it was instantly apparent that she was going to be very different from her brother. Caleb plays to a crowd and Mikayla shys away. Caleb can play by himself and likes to find trouble where Mikayla needs to be entertained and held. Two kids being raised by the same parents and in the same household. They have two very different souls.
It makes you wonder how siblings or even families can remain close. Really only spouses choose eachother. They found something in the other person that they wanted to be with. However, those outside of that union must meld their different souls into a tangled mess of relationships called family. So why do families stay together? Why do we bother to get together with people that do not share our common interests or opinions? I mean there are people all over the world who are closer aligned to my beliefs than most of my family. However, those random people do not have my shared history. This, I think, is one of the strongest bonds outside of love that keep families close and coming back for more Thanksgiving dinners. Instead of hashing out their respective differences, they find their common ground in their history and memories. They choose to make new history and memories with those that are connected to them thru blood.
Scrapbooking has become one of my favorite hobbies for this reason. By being the historian for my little family I strengthen it by creating "our story". Both good and bad we have the common denomitator of eachother. Caleb one day will be able to look back at how many times his Grandpa Fred took him to the park or how Grandma painstakingly put together a nursery for Mikayla fit for a princess.
My decision to stay home with the kids came from the belief that a family is stronger when you spend your time together. I remember the difference in the quality of our lives when mom had to return to work. I think we would have been better off if she had been home when we got off of school. I did not care for being a latchkey kid. Even though we were good kids... we still found trouble :-) (Actually, I think you found most of it....) I also feel like we lost our line of communication to mom around that time.
Do I believe in the biblical definition of submission? Yes, I do but not in the way you obviously see it to mean. I am nobodys doormat. Nor does Christian see me that way. It had no impact on my decision to stay home, I simply felt that this is where I belong in this season of my life.
I am not a skilled writer or debater so I will avoid discussing my reasons for my Christian beliefs in this format. I do want to say that your use of them to create a barrier between us is without merit. We have a shared history and I love you, that is all that really matters when it comes to family.
Hey ... where are you these days. If you are still driving, are you driving through snow and ice? I drove a tanker here in AZ for 4 years, but was always in good weather. Nothing worse than putting chains on in a blizzard. Pops
Thanks for sharing your perspective about your journey. I can definitely relate to the family issues and commend you on your ability to handle them.
Your blog made me laugh several times too and I could hear your laughter at your own little jokes in my head.
Reading about your practice of the internal arts brought me back to our times in the park, you teaching Qi gong. I felt such a shift in my energies and perspectives. I'm doing more of this in my life and look forward to the benefits, like clarity, health and healing.
Thank you for being you, I love you just the way you are! :-)
(BUN, :-), dead cow, BUN) LOL!
Jordan
You are such an instigator.... Yes you! .... the bald one who looks sixteen.
<3
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