Last month I wrote a nice long letter, but it mysteriously vanished from our brand-spankin’ new MacBook Pro. (We’re still getting used to this transition from PC to Mac. Somehow I feel like an ex-patriot in a foreign, WASP-ish, very tidy suburbia.) So, after procrastinating for a while about a re-write, I decided to simply summarize. Ready?
1.) Yes, John stay in-touch.
2.) No, John no hate Christians.
3.) Yes, John happy family doing well.
4.) No, John no think old memories can form basis of healthy relationship.
5.) Yes, John happy to help health issues. Send info. Get diagnosis. Feel better.
6.) No, not likely show up soon.
7.) Yes, playing meditation, taiji, qigong, medicine, language in China. May stay.
8.) No, John not dislike family. Not instigator.
9.) Yes, John very happy reconnect. ...Maybe little bit instigator. :-)
Now that we’re caught up, let’s move on. :oD
My wonderful partner in crime (occasionally literally) Marina has made the suggestion that I list some of the things I’ve been taking pleasure from lately. So, to start, here are a few of the Podcasts which we occasionally download.
-TED talks (I recommend this to everyone! Amazing!)
-Several “alternative medicine” and “allopathic medicine” podcasts (varied) (some I enjoy just to hear the arrogance of the anti-acupuncture community. They often have these incredible New England accents that you can barely understand; they are that posh! It’s not so much “speaking,” as modulated yawning. Honestly, it shouldn’t be possible to roll your double-yous, but they manage it somehow!)
-Alan Watts podcast (his classroom discussions are filled with wit and wisdom)
-Ask A Ninja (silly fun)
-Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History (good storytelling for history buffs, but a bit violent sometimes)
-Earth and Sky podcasts (environmental science)
-Epic Fu (great for Web 2.0 enthusiasts!)
-Podcastle and others (fun short stories, fiction)
-Honeybee Man (Marina studies apiculture)
-Various Martial Art Podcasts (“YMAA Netcast” and “Warrior Pages” are examples, there are no good Taiji quan casts)
-The Naked Scientists (Overview of all the latest and most enjoyable science)
-Scientific American Podcast (great for left-brain love)
-“NPR Jazz Profiles” and “Piano Jazz Shorts” , etc. (Loves me some Jazz, baby!)
-Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me! Podcast (Fun and informative, liberal perspective)
-The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (hilarious! I’m not a democrat, but a great show!)
-The Onion Radio News Podcast (just ridiculous fun)
-Polyamory Weekly (everything you need to know about healthy relationships!)
-Stuff Mom Never Told You, Stuff You Missed in History Class, Stuff You Should Know (just interesting “stuff”)
-This American Life (amazing story-telling! I also recommend the TV series!!)
-A Way With Words (for word lovers only. Remember “A Fish Called Wanda?” Yeah, not like that. Well, ...maybe a bit.)
-I used to listen to “Zen Master,” until it Pod-Faded (I really only liked it because the guy was was clearly as mad as a spoon. He hated everything, including women and communists. However, given that the man couldn’t touch bottom with a long stick, he really read from the Buddhist classics beautifully.)
We also listen to audiobooks while driving. Lately, it’s been “Omnivore’s Dilemma,” various Mandarin studies, “Ishmael” by Daniel Quinn, and “A New Earth.”
Surprisingly, handwriting has been really enjoyable as of late. Classically, I had quite illegible handwriting. Other doctors always had trouble reading my health-intake notes. My handwriting was what might have been achieved by a spider on a trampoline during an earthquake. Now, the small bit of paperwork necessary for my job has become a chance to explore the meaning and expression behind each stroke and connection of these words I know so well. A very different experience than playing with brush calligraphy & Chinese characters! Am I an art nerd or what?! (Did you know that brush calligraphy and play with a straight sword (Chinese movement) are mutually beneficial?)
Lately, Marina and I have been really enjoying the game “Wei Qi,” also called “Go.” Super fun! It has the same complexity that’s available within the western game of Chess, but enabling non-linear play and fewer elitist ideals. You laugh? Tell me why the pawns go off and slaughter each other while the kings kick-back with their hot-chick and personal minister? The pawns could unite, have a talk with the rooks, and the whole board would be a republic in a dozen moves! :o) Actually, it’s really interesting to discover the “top-down” concepts inherent in almost every “modern” institution. Education, language, wealth, religion, interpersonal relationships, etc. etc. etc. Fascinating! What do you think? Conspiracy? Well, I’m not a tremendous conspiracy theorist, but feel certain that societal control does not rest where we like to think it does. Really, I just don’t like the argument that I hear against these theories: “Name one thing that’s going on that you don’t know about. There, you can’t... Can you?”
There is one specific thing I’d like to extend gratitude to my parents for. Thank you both for introducing me to charity. No, not the uber-hot, red-haired, youth teacher at that Baptist church I eventually seceded from (deep sigh); but the joy of giving. One of the best things my Pop ever did, was to take a bewildered me to a nearby house in Escondido. The old place had weeds that were years-overgrown. As tall as an 8-year old. My dad didn’t announce himself, but rather let the roar of a gas-powered mower make our introductions. From time to time as we hacked, chopped, sliced, pulled, and sweated our way through that yard, a small, white-haired, pale face would peek out from behind heavy 1970’s curtains. After several hours of landscaping and bagging, a tiny old woman ventured out from behind her door to offer us some lemonade. We went home soon after, quietly content in our little truck. That little act of neighborly love left a huge impact!
Another time, also in Escondido, my mum returned from her job at the bank with a story of a destitute man. He had somehow lost everything. I ran up to my room and grabbed a little cardboard box which held my “life-savings.” (Probably no more than $10!) Returning downstairs, I asked my mom to give it to him to help his family. Again, the simple act of anonymous giving left me feeling fantastic. Brotherly love is definitely addicting! A short time later, she returned with a thank you note, and a box of chocolates he had bought as a gesture of appreciation for my mom. Know what I felt? I thought to myself, “Wow! I bet he spent the money I gave him on that chocolate! What a waste! Why not spend it on his family??” Basically since that day, when asked by homeless folks on the street for change, I smile, shake their hand, and tell them that I don’t give money to humans. :o)
Bartering, however, is a wonderful way to interact with others! Instead of “charging” somebody for my services, we simply exchange “meaningful donations.” For example, in appreciation for lessons or treatments, I’ve been given everything from ridiculously large sums of money and food, to shoes and a over-large sweater. (It really was an awful garment, that pullover. It had a queasy zigzag pattern, in many strange, unhappy colors. It look like something knitted as a present by a colorblind aunt. The sort of thing you wouldn't dare throw away in case the garbage collectors laughed at you and kicked your trash cans over. However, because it was such a heartfelt gift of gratitude, the sweater kept me warm and happy up until the following week when I donated it to goodwill.) Actually, Amaris was probably my first introduction to bartering. I learned that I could get cookies for a couple hours of room cleaning. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn that I could’ve just made the cookies myself, and in less time. Maybe she was a sugar-cane slavery millionaire in a past life? Between cookie bake-sales in childhood, Halloween candy hoarding, and chocolate bar sales in high school, she has made a killing in carbohydrates over the years! Even my mother sold wedding cakes for a time, so perhaps its genetic? Hmmm... back to the conspiracy theories...
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All I really need, is a song in my heart,
Food in my belly, and love in my family.
All I really need, is a song in my heart,
Love in my family.
And I need the rain to fall,
And I need the sun to shine,
To give life to the seeds we sow,
To get the food we need to grow.
All I really need, is a song in my heart,
Food in my belly, and love in my family.
All I really need, is a song in my heart,
Love in my family.
And I need some clean water for drinkin’,
And I need some clean air for breathin’,
So that I can grow up strong,
Take my place where I belong.
All I really need is a song in my heart,
Love in my family!
(-Fun song by Raffi)
3 comments:
Interesting thoughts. I have often found it very hard to be still. Guess my ADD kicks in too quickly or maybe I just enjoy the excuse of ADD and it lets me move on to what really interest me.
Edward
Missing you my son.
About 5 days ago, a little bird fell into my backyard from its nest and wasn't mature enough to fly. Frightened and feeling abandoned, he began to run the length of the fence while mom twittered from the fence. I worried about the predators that may figure out this little guy was so vulnerable. I threw down some grain and put some water out, but the little guy didn't know what to do with it. As I was watching through my window, its parent flew down and began to feed the little guy. The maturer bird ate the grain and drank the water ... then fed the baby again. As large more aggressive birds showed up, the parent bird would make sure the other birds knew he was there. Night times found the little guy huddled in the sand against the cold. Every new sunrise showed that little bird alive and running and flapping his wings, desperate to return to the nest ... but the very fact he was stranded on the ground caused him to gain strength with exercise that could not occur in the nest. Everyday showed growth, confidence and greater strength. I looked out on the 4th day to see my little guy on the fence. I was so relieved and proud ... yet I went out this evening looking for my little bird, remembering too late that he was gone.
Can't shake the sadness.
Hi Johnny!
It has been wonderful hearing from you. I have wanted to write you back for so long, but have hesitated because I don’t want to say something that would cause you to cut off communication with us. I have so many questions to ask, but know that you are a very private person.
Our family has missed you so much! Just writing that one sentence causes me to cry. I don’t know how the past years have affected you, but the yearning in my heart to see you has only increased. Do you know that when we wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep, we think of you? Do you know how often we see you riding a bike or driving in the cars that pass us? When a young man walks into the store that looks like you, I turn and say, “He has the build of my son”. I don’t hear your laugh from anyone else…..even though sometimes I turn my ear to hear if someone sounds even close to your voice.
I know you are an adult and making your way in life quite successfully, but sometimes life happens and that’s when we need our family … in the good times and bad. There is nothing you could do or say that will change our love for you. Our desire is that you will come to experience our heart for you. Others around you who have not known our family may judge us for our words to you. You alone should know how much love this family has to share and that just because we may not use the philosophical words that they prize; it is more genuine than they could know.
I love you John Ryan, and no matter how old either of us get you will always be my Johnny ... my child. You won’t understand that until you have one of your own. You are a part of me. A part of my heart forever.
There is a room here waiting for you anytime you want, for as long as you want. Love, Mom xoxoxo
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